Almost like Christmas in July

Everyone has there favorite time of year. Some people live all year long looking forward to now, because they can't get enough of the holiday season. For others, they live for the summer. Others still say their favorite time of year is late November, surrounding turkey day. For me, the best time of year is late April. Why you may ask. Well the answer is, every year in late April my favorite event takes place. That event would be the NFL Draft. Thats right, the NFL Draft is my favorite event of the year.

Because this is my favorite event of the year, I think it is never too early to start to predict how April's draft will turn out. For me, releasing my first round mock in December, is kind of like those crazy people who start celebrating Christmas in July !!!

Now, some of you who follow football are going to complain that the definite draft order has yet to be set, so how can there be a mock draft. We still have Juniors who may declare as well. That is why this is an initial mock. There will be more. For this mock draft, the following rules were used.

1. The draft order is based on how it would look right now. This could changed based on week 17 results and playoff results. This draft is based on the order right now.

2. Juniors who have already declared are included in the list. In addition, so are Juniors who I think should or will declare eligibility. The Juniors will be noted with an asterisks.

So without further pomp, here is my initial first round mock draft for the 2007 NFL Draft.

1. Detroit Lions -Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame
The lions really don't have a QB need, and would best be served to trade down to collect picks, but if they stay, choosing Quinn will at least give the fans in Detroit some hope for next season.

2. Oakland Raiders - Troy Smith, QB, Ohio State
The Raiders really need a QB, and would love to get Quinn. If the Lions listen to trade offers, expect the Raiders to be on the phone. If Quinn is gone, the Raiders will select the Heisman Trophy winner.

3. Tampa Bay Bucs - Ted Ginn*, WR, Ohio State
The Bucs have had trouble putting points on the board all season, and with Chris Simms to be returning as the starting QB, they will want to surround him with weapons. Ted Ginn is a Charles Woodson type athlete, and he will be a solid compliment to the aging Joey Galloway.

4. Houston Texans - Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin
The Texans have struggled to get it right since comming into the league, but this year, they will finally get smart and get QB David Carr (or whoever is there via free agency) some protection. Thomas is the best O-Lineman to come out since Orlando Pace.

5. Cleveland Browns - Adrian Peterson*, RB, Oklahoma
I had expected the Browns to be better this year after a good off season last year. Unfortunately the injury bug bit the Browns hard, and now they have the chance to add their franchise running back.

6. Arizona Cardinals - Levi Brown, OT, Penn State
The Cards have lots of talent, so their poor performance is somewhat perplexing. They still need help on the line, and I expect to see Brown put up big numbers at the combine and shoot up the board.

7. St. Louis Rams - LeMarr Woodley, LB, Michigan
The Rams were run all over all year by any team with even a decent run game. Woodley is a beast at backer. Alexander, Gore, and James are not going to be excited about this.

8. Washington Redskins - Quentin Moses, DE, Georgia
The Skins have not gotten after the opposing QB very well this year. Moses can rush the QB. A match made in heaven? I think so.

9. Green Bay Packers - Leon Hall, CB, Michigan
The Pack overachieved a bit this year, but it does not hide their numerous holes. The secondary needs a young playmaker, and Leon Hall will play well alongside former Wolverine, Charles Woodson.

10. San Francisco 49ers - Dewayne Jarrett*, WR, USC
The Niners made good progress this year, but Alex Smith still needs more targets. Two very good options should be on the board at this point, but expect the Niners to stay at home and choose Jarrett out of USC.

11. Carolina Panthers - JeMarcus Russell*, QB, LSU
QB Jake is starting to get up there in years, and backup Chris Weinke may actually be older. Unless the brass really believes in former Louisville standout Stefan Lefors, Russell will get the call.

12. Tennessee Titans - Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson
Now that Vincanity has swept Nashville, the Titans will look to get a pass rush going. Gaines Adams will fit the bill.

13. Minnesota Vikings - Paul Posluzny, LB, Penn St
Minnesota has a few directions they could go with this pick, but right now I expect the team to pair big Paul with last year's selection Chad Greenway to solidify the defense for years to come.

14. Miami Dolphins - Calvin Johnson*, WR, Georgia Tech
The Phins have not progressed as far as everyone thought they would have, but they seem confident that Daunte will be fine to take the helm next year. Giving him a target like Johnson makes the Dolphins dangerous.

15. Buffalo Bills - Michael Griffin, S, Texas
Like Michael Huff before him, Griffin is a playmaker from the Texas secondary. Buffalo could use a guy like him to take some pressure off of Nate Clements.

16. Pittsburgh Steelers - Antoine Cason*, CB, Arizona
Pittsburgh's secondary was exposed this year, and getting a primetime corner has to be a priority. Cason is an athletic, tough corner and will fit well in the Steel City.

17. Kansas City Chiefs - Jeff Samardzija, WR, Notre Dame
This team is in need of a prime time player at wide out badly. Dante Hall and Eddie Kennison are good, but not great. Samardzija is as athletic as any of the recievers in the draft, and will give Green a real target for his swan song.

18. Atlanta Falcons - Patrick Willis, LB, Ole Miss
When the Falcons had a healthy Jon Abraham rushing off the edge, the team look very good. He will be back next year, healthy, and with Willis joining the LB corps, the defense can be scary, good.

19. Jacksonville Jaguars - Victor Abimiri, DE, Notre Dame
The Jags could go OL here, but I think they will aim to rebuild the once mighty defensive front. Abimiri will help them pressure opposing passers, and could be a difference maker for the Jags.

20. Cincinnati Bengals - HB Blades, LB, Pitt
The Bengals, could go D-Line here, but it seems that David Pollack's career may be over. If this is true, a spark plug like Blades will give this defense some attitude. Come to think of it, maybe attitude is not what the Bengals need.

21. New York Jets - Marshawn Lynch, RB, California
The Jets could plug a few holes here, and if a top notch pass rusher falls to them, they may pull the trigger. Leon Washington did an admirable job this year, but he is not the long term answer. Lynch is the second best back on the board, and will do very well with Gang Green.

22. New York Giants - Tim Crowder, DE, Texas
This offseason, the Giants could be saying goodbye to Barber, Toomer, and Strahan. No slight to Toomer or Tiki, but replacing Iron Mike will have to be the first task at hand.

23. Denver Broncos - Alan Branch*, DT, Michigan
Alan Branch is really intriguing prospect. First off, he could stay a Wolverine afor another year. The other think is he has top first round talent. Seriously, he could go much higher, but I think DT's will slip this year, and the Broncos will benefit from a steal this late in Round 1.

24. New England Patriots (from Seattle) - LaRon Landry, S, LSU
With two first round pick, the Pats will begin by adressing their thin secondary. Landry is a stud and could easily go higher. If he falls this far, watch Brilliant Bill snap him up.


25. Dallas Cowboys - Justin Blalock, OL, Texas
Dallas lost Larry Allen last year. Now they need someone to protect the new franchise in Tony Romo. Blalock can play multiple spots on the line, and will look good with his star.

26. Philadelphia Eagles - Reggie Nelson, S, Florida
Michael Lewis, it appears, has forgotten how to play football. His fall from pro bowl status to backup is scary. Add the SEC champion's best playmaker to replace him and Phily will be in good shape.

27. New England Patriots - Robert Meachem*, WR, Tennessee
It seems that even Tom Brady need options to throw to to win games. Enter Meachem. He was the Vols leading receiver, and will be a big, strong, fast option for Brady.

28. Indianapolis Colts - Frank Okam*, DT, Texas
The Colts would be good... if they played defense. Booger is snot the answer, and Corey Simon may come back, but no one knows for sure. Okam will help slow down the opposing rush attack.

29. New Orleans Saints - Darrelle Revis*, CB, Pitt
What an incredible turn around for the Saints. Adding a coverage demon like Revis will ensure that next season the Saints will be even better.

30. Baltimore Ravens - Michael Bush*, RB, Louisville
This is a stretch pick because it is very likely Bush will return to the 'Ville and make a Heisman run next year. Should he come out though, the Ravens could use a guy like him to spell Jamal Lewis.

31. Chicago Bears - Brian Brohm*, QB, Louisville
Like Bush, Brohm could very well wind up back in school. If he does in fact come out, the Bears will select him to replace the floundering Rex Grossman. That's right. It is goodbye Rexy. Brohm will give the Bears a super offense to compliment their superbowl defense.

32. San Diego Chargers - Aaron Sears, OL, Tennessee
After winning the superbowl, the chargers could find themselves with more holes then they currently have as others around the league cherry pick their talent. But assuming things are as they are now, the Bolts could look Wide Out, but will instead choose to strengthen the O-Line.

A site after my own heart

As many of you, my loyal readers, know, I am a stickler about customer service. I really do not know where this pet peeve developed from, but seriously, I absolutely loath organizations that do not treat the customer correctly. I always figure, if I am going to spend my hard earned money somewhere, the business better treat me well. On the flip side of the same coin, if a group provides excellent customer service, I will usually go out of my way to patronize their business. Sometimes, even going as far a spending more money for the same product, but superior, reliable customer service.

One of my new customer service gripes is having to talk to machines. Let me give you an example. A few months back, I recieved an advertisement in the mail to switch my cable service to Verizon. This, in addition to their FIOS high speed internet seemed to be a good deal, so I called the number on the ad. I was connected directly with a salesperson, who proceeded to sell me on making the switch. Fast forward to last week, and I am having problems with my new FIOS internet going dead on me at random times. I call the service number, and I am put into a phone system where I have to enter various pieces of information into a computer. The system even went as far as trying to have the computer diagnose my problem (olf course it failed). Needles to say, it was quite frustrating. I hate speaking to machines. I would have been much happier to speak with a customer service representative.

Now please do not read this as an indictment of Verizon and their customer service. Instead, I am complaining about companies trying to save money by sacrificing on customer service, which as we all know, is partially the personal touch. Finally, there is a website who, like me, can think of many ways they would rather spend their time than speaking with a machine. What they did was compile a database of corporations around our nation, and ways of shortcutting their phone systems to speak directly with a person. Seriously, what a wonderful idea. Now, next time I need to speak with Verizon, or anyone else for that matter, I just look them up on this web site and I get to speak with a person. How nice.

So without further hype, I introduce to you all, the newest Friend of the Abstract, GetHuman. If you are interested in checking out GetHuman (and I know you are), simply click on the link GetHuman under the Friends of the Abstract section of the blog. For those of your reading this via feed reader or email, just click on one of the GetHuman links in this post.

So, here are the instructions:
1. Go to GetHuman
2. Enjoy
3. Come back here and let everyone know of your experience

Happy New Year to All... (and Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and Good Kwanza to some)

The following Public Service Announcements have been brought to you by the number "22" (as in the number of days since my last post) and the word "sorry" (as in what I am for not having posted in aforementioned number of days).

I want to wish all of my loyal (dwindling but loyal) readership a happy holiday season. Now that the jolly fat guy has come and gone, I hope you have been left with some new gifts that will bring you some enjoyment (I know I did !!!).

Furthermore, I implore you all to go out this weekend and have a highly imbibed festive time, but please be safe. For, should you fail to follow my most recent request, you will undoubtedly miss the "Best and Worst of 2006" post which will be coming soon.

Speaking of "Best and Worst of 2006", please nominate the someone (or something) in the following categories:

Best Movie of the Year
Worst Movie of the Year
Best Song of the Year
Worst Song of the Year (A.K.A. "Please turn this fuckin' song off before I shoot myself)
Best Gift I received this Year
Worst Gift I received this Year (A.K.A "The Gravy Boat Gift" in honor of a friend)
Best Surprise of the Year
Worst Surprise of the Year
Person of the Year (famous or not, doesn't matter)
Dunce of the Year (infamous or not, doesn't matter)

Winners of the prestigious "Raised Thumb" awards (Best of's) and the "Raised Middle Finger" awards (Worst of's) will be announced in the "Best and Worst of 2006" upcoming post.

Until then, Happy New Year to all !!!!

How could so many names get it so wrong?

Ok, so now that the holiday season is smack upon us, we are going to be inundated with Santa, gifts, hallmark, and more. We get to turn on our favorite radio stations and we get to hear nothing but Deck the Halls and Jingle Bells. As Charlie Brown would say, Arrrghhh.

Now I am not trying to steal Ebeneezer's day job (although I could use one right now), but I can only handle so much Christmas spirit. It was only recently that I understood what could drive two fat guys dressed liked candy canes to get into a belly bumping match over "Christmas spirit" in the old Shadowood lobby. Seriously, enough is enough. It seems now-a-days, the turkey is not even stuffed and I am forced to watch yet another musician put out their rendition of the old holiday classics for all of us to suffer to (although this year did give me pause when the artist was Bette "only Barbara Streisand is more Jewish than me" Midler).

So what is a nice Jewish boy like me to do to escape all of these holiday wonderments? The movies!!! Thank god for motion pictures. I can get away by going to the theater and catching some pretty good shows, since the holiday season is a great time for good movies to be released. Starting on the Wednesday leading up to Thanksgiving and running all the way until the final "fa la la" Hollywood will be there to keep a simple boy like me entertained. Sure, I do get subjected to posters promoting Tim Allen's next Santa Claus flick, but I can certainly ignore them on my way to seeing some truly great pictures.

Now, each year I look forward to escaping the "holiday cheer" by heading into a cinema and losing myself in great film. So as I know you can all imagine, I was very pumped when I found out that kicking things off for us during this holiday season was Bobby. I was hoping that Emilio Estevez's tribute to Robert F. Kennedy was going to be something we could compare with Oliver Stone's tribute to the Senator's big brother in his film, JFK.

Then after taking one look down the cast list of this film, I knew I was going to be thrilled. Seriously, my new favorite trivia question is, "Name three Hollywood Icons not in this film." This film was written and directed by Emilio Estevez, who may be best know for being Charlie Sheen's eldest son, but has numerous acting credits including; The Breakfast Club, Young Guns, Men at Work (which he also wrote and Directed), and the whole Mighty Ducks series. Then the casting group started picking directly from Hollywood's current and former "A" list. They hired Emmy winner, Harry Belafonte; teen idol, Nick Cannon; Oscar nominee Laurence Fishburne (Whats Love Got to Do With It, The Matrix Trilogy, Boyz n the Hood); Heather Graham (Boogie Nights, Austin Powers); 2-time Emmy winner and 4-time Emmy nominee, Oscar winner and 4-time Oscar nominee, Sir Anthony Hopkins (Silence of the Lambs, Meet Joe Black); 1-time Oscar winner, 4-time Emmy winner and 8-time Emmy nominee Helen Hunt (As good as it Gets, Mad About You); teen idol Joshua Jackson (The Skulls, Dawson's Creek); teen idol Ashton Kutcher (The Butterfly Effect, Punk'd, That 70's Show); teen idol Lindsay Lohan (Mean Girls, The Parent Trap); Oscar nominee, William H. Macy (Fargo, Seabiscuit); 2-time Golden Globe nominee, and 1-time Emmy nominee, Demi Moore (Ghost, A Few Good Men); Emmy nominee, Freddy Rodriguez (Six Feet Under); Emmy winner, Golden Globe winner, and 2-time SAG winner, Charlie Sheen (The West Wing, The American President); teen idol Christian Slater (Pump up the Volume, Interview with a Vampire); Emmy award winner, Golden Globe winner, Oscar nominee, Sharon Stone (Casino, Basic Instinct); and SAG winner, Elijah Wood (Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Deep Impact).

A quick review for those of you who may have gotten lost. This film's cast boasts the following achievements: 28 Emmy Award nominations, 9 Emmy Awards, 8 Oscar nominations, 3 Oscar Awards, countless Golden Globe, SAG, and other award nominations, and winners, 6 next generation superstars, 2 Stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and of course, 1 real, live, Knight of the Queen of England. My guess is you would be hard pressed to find a more heralded cast in another film.

So, with this much fire power, you would think we were going to be seeing the biggest blockbuster of the season. Well, boy was I in for a surprise. This movie, which should have been something special, was one big pile of poo. Thats right folks, this movie stunk. Why you ask? Well let me tell you. First off, the movie has very little to do with Bobby Kennedy. Instead, we get to follow a whole bunch of characters throughout the day and location of Senator Kennedy's murder. Now, don't get me wrong. That alone did not make the movie the pile of poo it is. Nope, there was more. Had the audience been given a chance to make a connection with any of the characters the movie followed, it may have been a good movie, but in the 2 hour time frame, Emilio tried to shove too many stories into not enough time. What I mean is had we been able to bond with the war dodging newlyweds, or the baseball loving busboy, or the maritally challenged hotel manager and his cosmetologist wife, or the LSD using campaign volunteers, or the drunkard fading star and her doormat of a husband... we may have cared more about what transpires to them all at the end. We may have felt what they felt when they witnessed Senator Kennedy get shot. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Instead, we got infinitesimally small glimpses into their lives, and rather than bond with them, we are left wondering, "What the fuck was the point of Helen Hunt and Charlie Sheen anyhow?"

Because we never really meet Bobby Kennedy in the film (Estevez did not cast anyone as Bobby, but instead used old footage and speeches of Kennedy to represent his existence, which could have been powerful, but instead was disjointed) we never really feel lose when he is killed. We never hear about why he was killed. We never meet Sirhan Sirhan in the movie (in fact his name was never even mentioned) so we never get any answers or theories into why Senator Kennedy was assassinated. Because we never really get to know any of the characters, we never feel for them or with them either.

Unfortunately, what could have been an awesomely powerful movie with truly an all-star cast, instead becomes an also ran in this years holiday season. And instead of leaving the theater energized, and excited for the movie season to come, I left wondering "So how bout that Tim Allen flick?"

If you've seen the movie Bobby, go ahead, sound off. I can't wait to hear your Abstract.

A New Friend

Now that the turkey is finally finished, many of us are trying to figure out what to get those special someones (and sometimes not so special, but if I am the only one no to buy my friggin boss a gift i will look bad) their Chanukah, Christmas, and Kwanza gifts. Now, because I love each and every one of you my loyal readers, I am going to let you in on one of the web hidden gems, which also happens to be one of the best places to buy gifts for people. These gifts are both useful and ornate, so fellas, your better halves will likely be very impressed.

With no further introduction my I introduce the first corporate Friend of the Abstract, Aura Oil. Aura Oil distributes top of the line oil and fragrance lamps, and with their customer service penchant (and to be a Friend of the Abstrat, I have to love your service) make them one of the web's best buys. They have lamps of all sizes, and fragrances of all smells, so what evr you want one for it will work. They have big lamps that are beautiful and sit nicely on coffee tables in the livingroom. They even have tiny lamps that work well in the bathroom (trust me, my better half says those have saved her life). Whatever colors you are into they have. Whateve styles you dig, they've got. Whatever smells you like, they can send. Their prices are the best anywhere (net or b & m store) and as I mentioned earlier their service is second to none.

So, for your holiday gift ideas, get that person something different this year, and check out Aura Oil. I know the owner personally, so tell him Bigg E sent you. Now that my good deed for the day is done, I am out. If you buy with them let everyone know how your expierence was by commenting on this abstract.



PS. I will not take bribes to get your company mentioned on my blog. Seriously. You need to simply bring an awesome product, great prices, and the best service, otherwise, no props. Also, please note that comapnies with very bad service, I am going to bring down the heat as I begin my "Lets all Boycott" series coming soon.

A look Inside

Todays post is going to be a different kind of post for me. If you choose to read on, please, be forewarned that the entry you will read is almost entirely without humor. In fact, it is a deeply personal introspection, rarely shown to people outside my innermost circle. It is both philosophical and practical in nature, and it is more feeling than almost any piece you will ever read from me. For those not ready to read, what may be read as almost an internal monologue, I understand completely, and I encourage you to skip past this one article. For those who choose to read, I implore you to keep your minds open, and understand, I am by no means trying to insult anyone, nor am I trying to preach to anyone. Please take it more as an update to my personal, internal philosophy on myself, and how I fit into this crazy world.

Before I get to the meat of this article, I want to provide everyone with a little background on how this posting came about. As many of you may already know, I fancy myself a fledgling martial artist. As part of my school's test for Shodan (1st degree Black Belt), we are asked to write an essay, reflecting upon what we have learned during our training thus far. What you are going to read is my essay. Again, this is pretty deep stuff, and touches on many areas including religion, divorce, Eastern philosophy, and more. For those of you who think this stuff to be voodoo, hooey, or simple BS, please stop reading. For those who are ready for a look inside, enjoy the view.




As I sit here, a few weeks out from my black belt test, I find myself reflecting on how much I have learned, and from this, how much my life has changed as a result of my training at the Quest Center the past few years.


Strangely, thoughts of this remind me of an old Jewish song entitled Dayenu (Die-A-New). This song is sung each year during the Jewish holiday of Passover. The song is worded to remind us to be thankful for what we have, and draws its inspiration from the story of the Jewish Peoples exodus from Egypt. The lyrics of the first paragraph translate to say “If He (god) had only brought us (the Jewish people) out of Egypt, it would have been enough.” The second paragraph translates to mean “If He had only given us the Torah, it would have been enough.” The song continues paragraph to paragraph, letting us know that each thing done for us “would have been enough.”

The reason my training reminds me of this old Hebrew song, is because of the multiple layers that the training has happened on. When I first came to Quest, my life was by all accounts (specifically mine) very good. I was in a good career, well entrenched in the “Rat Race” many of us are tied up in. I had a good home life, living with my best friend, while planning a wedding to my fiancé. I was stashing away money, and accumulating creature comforts at a very acceptable pace, putting myself on the “path to success” that I had grown up want to be on. When I first came to Quest, I was hoping that the instructors could help motivate me to get my rear quarters in motion, and maybe lose a few pounds. I was hoping they could teach me a thing or two about being able to better defend myself should I find myself in a physical altercation. And had the Russo’s, the Giancarlo’s and Mr. Hamblien been able to do that for me, it would have been enough.

Just like other who had come before me, and some that have come since, I began to realize that the instructors were teaching me more than exercise and self-defense. Soon I began to learn how the elements we were studying could be applied to life outside the dojo. I began to see how an understanding of the elements could give me an advantage in my career. I began to see how the elements applied to human behavior, and how appropriate manipulation of the elements could help me professionally. Had this been the only professional lesson I learned from the Quest staff, this too would have been enough.

At the time, I didn’t know it, but what I was learning was barely scratching the surface of what the Quest Instructors were teaching. The more I trained at Quest, the closer I became with the instructors, and the more time I began spending with them socially. As a result, my learning continued outside the dojo environment. I heard a metaphor that explained my training better than any I had heard before or since. I was told to imagine that I was a builder. During my Q-belt training, I was learning about tools that were available to me, and how to use each tool. From the metaphor perspective, I was learning that I had a hammer available to me, and how to use a hammer. I was learning I had a screwdriver available to me, and how to use the screwdriver. I was then told that my black belt test was simply to test me on my knowledge and use of the tools now in my tool belt. Black belt simply meant that my tool belt was full. The black belt training that I would be doing was akin to teaching me how to use my tools to build something. It was my taking of this metaphor and extending it to my life outside of To Shin Do, that made the lesson truly valuable. Now if this had been the only life lesson that I learned from my friends at the dojo, this would have been enough.

The true test of any learning, is how can you apply what you learned, in a real life, real pressure environment. As is the case with this art, I have heard other students talk about being able to utilize their training when the situation has called for it. I have heard stories of students applying oak trees to the arms of road rage attackers. I have hear students tell of “getting earthy” against an imminent physical confrontation that never materialized as a result of their energy. I have heard tales of students “watering” away from falling A/C ducts in their office building thanks to their training. Fortunately, I have, since beginning my training, been able to avoid all physical confrontations, and thus, have never had to test my skills in a real life, real pressure environment. Or so I thought.

For anyone who knows me, they know that 2006 has been one of the toughest years, if not the toughest year, of my life thus far. Earlier in the year I had to go through what many have called “the most stressful experience a person can experience”. I had to go through a divorce. Then only a little more than a month ago, I found out I no longer was wanted at the company I helped build. I was fired. A tough year it had been indeed. I spent more time over the past twelve months wondering where my life was going than I had during the previous 7 years combined. Still, it wasn’t until sitting at a Quest Black Belt Dinner that things came into perspective for me. I was sitting next to a fellow student and friend, Scott Ream while we were all celebrating the success of the newest black belts. Scott and I began talking, and he asked me for some advice. Scott told me of a personal situation he was dealing with and he concluded by saying, “I wanted your advice on how best to handle this. I know you have had a simply awful year, but unless you looked carefully, it would be very hard to tell because you are handling everything so well.”

The impact of what Scott had said to me did not hit me until the next night at Gashuku. During the fire ceremony, I came to the realization, that the events of this year were my real life, real pressure test of my skills. In fact, it doesn’t get much more real life, or real pressure, than what I had been going through. I also realized, that I owed an awful lot of credit to the teaching of Mark, Helen, John, Laura, and David for helping me, as Scott said, “handle everything so well.” The life lessons learned at Quest had been the foundation on which I relied on during these trying times. The life “tools” that I have been learning about and how to best utilize, have allowed me to turn situations that would have broken many of the “untrained” people I know, into genuine opportunities. My divorce hurt me badly. I still very much loved my wife while we were separating, and I wondered how I would be able to move on without her support. Thanks in large part to my training however, I soon came to realize that by keeping her a close friend, I could maintain most of her support, and from this I was able to go out an find another fulfilling relationship that will be able to help me continue to grow on my path. Being fired hurt me in many ways, not least of which was by delivering a strong blow to my financial base. Again, thanks to my training, I saw this too as an opportunity, and I am now in the process of securing a new position, at a new company, which I expect to provide me with both professional and fiscal opportunities that would not have been found in my former employ.

Sitting around the fire that night, I realized that my real world, real pressure test had in fact come, and despite my complaints and despite my sorrows, I had been doing an admirable job at fighting these dragons thus far. I realized that as important as the physical skills I had acquired over the last few years had become, it was the life skills that were invaluable. It was that night around the fire, looking at my friend Christina Quenneville, bask (as much as she ever can allow herself to) in her achievement, I realized that my “Black Belt Test” had in fact already begun. In fact, one could make the argument that the “test” had started the moment David Hamblien wrapped that white belt around my waist. In fact, based on the old Taoist philosophy that everything we have ever done has brought us to right here, right now, it could be argued that from the moment we are brought into this world, our Q-Belt learning begins. And now, as I stand on the precipice of commencement, I am ready to learn about the world from a black belt perspective, and for this I say, “Dayenu”.

A Noteworthy Holiday (Public Service Announcement 2)

Allow me just a moment to wish my loyal readers a wonderful Turkey Day. Remember, we have lots to be thankful for this year. Even me, Bigg E, will be giving thanks tomorrow. It seems, that yesterday, we set a new record on this blog for readership, as we crested the 25 individual reader mark for the first time!!! Nice everybody. I am glad you are all enjoying my mindless drivel enough to come back for more, and some of you apparently have even chosen to subject some of friends to my nonsensical diatribes. And this Thanksgiving I give to you all thanks (and to 7-11, who it seems, wants to employ me to grow their little organization, who'da thunk it?).

HAPPY TURKEY DAY ALL !!!!

Excuse me, Mr. Gibson, is this seat taken?

Can you hear it? That sound. It is the sound of the Blacklist Train getting ready to make a one way trip from Hollywood to Hell, and it is about to leave the station.

You see, this is not the train's maiden voyage. Far from it. It seems that the old Blacklist Train makes this one way trip every once in a while, taking former Hollywood "A" and "B" listers from their previous plush celebrity status, and leaving them in a desolate Hell of Hollywood purgatory, inhabited only by other fallen stars, men in pointy white hats, and the soul of Marge Schott.

Apparently the Blacklist Train is back at the station, and it is boarding passengers now. A few weeks back, the once mighty (albeit strange) Mel Gibson decided he was going to drop back a few. Now, having a few drinks is not a big deal. In fact, not having any drinks seems to make more news in Hollywood than does the former. But what we did not know is that when Mel has a few he turns into Australia's largest anti-Semite. So a cop pulls over Braveheart for driving under the influence, and Mel proceeds to go on an anti-Jew tirade that would make Borat blush. Mel, please pick up your Boarding Pass at the door.

Hold on Mr Conductor, please don't leave the station just yet. It seems that Michael Richards doe not want Mel to make this journey all alone. A few nights back, our beloved Kramer, doing his routine in a comedy club, ran into a few hecklers. Now, I have been to comedy clubs before, and I have been fortunate enough to see someone try to heckle the talent. Nothing is funnier to me than watching a comedian, rip apart a heckler. I get some of my best insults from watching that type of exchange. So, what I would have expected to hear is that Richard's carved up those hecklers with the skill of Paul Bettany as Geoffrey Chaucer in "A Knights Tale." Instead, Richards decided to book the seat next to Mighty Mel and unleashed a tirade of racist comments that make the Klan go searching for membership applications.

So, lets recap, shall we? First, Riggs fires off comments that all but secure him a "boo" spot in Adam Sandler's next version of the Chanukah Song, then our old favorite Cosmo reveals that he really spells his last name, KKKramer.
Well, I hope that both of you guys enjoy your trip to Hollywood purgatory. With the in ability to keep loose lips from flapping, these two guys will be lucky to get casted in the straight to video "hits" like Gigli 2, or Friday the 13th part 941. Good luck gents, and don't forget to say hi to Walt Disney for us.

Is there a statute of limitations on stupidity?

This just in, from the land of "Are you freakin kidding me?". OJ Simpson, the man who the "Trial of the Century" was about; The man who made names like Judge Lance Ito, Mark Fuhrman, and Kato Kaelin household names in 1995; The man who had the ultimate defense team including Robert Shapiro, Johnny Cochran, and F. Lee Bailey defend him from charges of murdering ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman; Yes, that OJ Simpson, has decided in his infinite wisdom, that he is going to write a book and conduct a TV Interview to promote his book.

Now, does anyone want to guess the title and subject of the former Heisman Trophy winning running back's book and interview? The answer: "If I Did It". That's right, "If I Did It". This man who proved to America that our Justice system is in fact color conscious,(green is always superior to either black or white) has figured the best way to get back into America's good graces is to talk about how "hypothetically speaking of course" he would have killed his ex-wife and her lover "if" he had chosen to do it.

Apparently, Juice seems to think we miss him. Orenthal has decided that we will be happy to embrace him back, especially if he rubs our face in the fact that he turned our justice system into a farce. Maybe he thinks that we will forget that a civil court was so unimpressed with his story they awarded the families of the victims $8.5 million for a "crime he did not commit".

OJ needs to disappear. We don't want him back in the spotlight. He had his chance. When he was rushing for 2000 yards in a season for the Buffalo Bills we knew him. When he was sideline reporting for the Networks after retiring from the league, we loved him. When he appeared in the Naked Gun series, we laughed and loved him more. When he killed his ex and her lover we became ashamed of him. When he decided that his money made him immune to the laws of our nation, we hated him. That hatred has not gone away, but it lies dormant. Writing this book will only bring back and intensify this feeling we have of him. The only two people that are going to be happy about this are G.W. and Kevin Federline. At least now they wont be the only jerk offs for the media to pick on.

Lets hear it everyone. What is your abstract?

Thank god for Brian Cashman

Anyone who knows me knows I am a Yankees fan. A big time Yankees fan at that. That is why the last few years have been so hard on me. (I know, no one who is not a Yankees fan will ever feel sorry for a Yankees fan. We pay to win, we buy our victories, what we do almost amounts to cheating, blah, blah, blah. It will always be the same old cries from baseball's have nots. This particular post will not go into detail about how silly those complaints are.) I have had to watch this team go from top of the heap to perennial contender simply because good ol George would let Brian Cashman be Brian Cashman.

What am I talking about? Lets take a little stroll down memory lane. Lets go to the latter half of the 1990's. You remember then. That is when the New York Yankees were a machine. Joe Torre had come in as manager, and between his leadership and GM Brian Cashman's ability to bring in the right personnel, the Yanks were unbeatable. They won 4 of 5 world series titles, and it was because we brought in the right players, not simply the expensive ones.

What ever happened to acquiring guys like Pauly O'Neil, Scotty Brosius, Tino Martinez, and David Cone? These guys were not necessarily the most talented players at their position, but they did the things the club needed them to do so as a team the Yankees were the best. Sure they still had Derek Jeter, Mike Mussina, and Bernie Williams, player who were amongst the best at their position in the game, but they worked together as a team, within Torre's framwork, to bring the team success.

Things started going downhill soon after the 2000 season. I am not sure if Georgie got too caught up with "staying ahead" of the Red Sox, or why he stopped listening to Cashman, but soon, the Yankees of old were no more. Boston went out into the free agent market and brought in Manny Ramirez. The Yanks, went and added Jason Giambi. Boston goes and acquires Curt Shilling. The Yanks counter by trading for Randy Johnson. Boston tries to bring Alex Rodriguez over from Texas. They fail. Then it was the Yanks turn, and guess what, A-Rod is now the Yankees third baseman.

So, now let's measure again. The Yankees add bats like Giambi, Sheffield, Matsui and Damon. They add arms like Johnson, Wright, and Pavano. Each of these players were amongst the best available when acquired by New York. So as I am sure you can imagine, this is why I am upset that I have gotten to see teams like Arizona, Florida, Anaheim, the Southsiders, and of course those "idiots" having won world championships, while we, the mighty Yankees, simply up payroll again for the next season.

But now it seems the tide is changing. George has decided for one reason or another to listen to one of the games top GM's. At last season's end, George wanted heads to roll, and he wanted Torre's to be the first. Cashman stood up for Joe, and by some blessing, George listened. Torre will stay in the Bronx. Now, one of Steinbrenner's favorite players, Gary Sheffield had to be addressed. If George were calling the shots, Shef would be playing first base for New York. Giambi would become a full time DH, and Abreu would patrol right field. But fortunately for us Yankees fans, George has deferred to his GM, and Shef will take his locker room cancer with him to Detroit. In exchange the Yankees will acquire three top young arms (something you can never have enough of) to their organization. What a deal !!!

This is why tonight, before I fall asleep, I will thank the good lord for keeping my family and friends happy and healthy. I will ask him to help me on my seemingly never ending quest to become re-employed. And I will thank him for giving good ol George the foresight to allow Brian Cashman to earn his paycheck. Thank god for Brian Cashman.

Yankees fans and others... what's your Abstract?

Isn't this the Job of the Secret Service ???

Ladies, Gentlemen, Republicans (just kidding)...
I need your help. My teachers have failed me. I went to public school, so maybe that was where it all went wrong, but I was always taught that it was the job of the Secret Service to take bullets fired at the President. I never, ever was told that it is also in the job descriptions of the President's cabinet too. First Ari Fleischer went down. Next Colin Powell disappeared. Now it is goodbye to Rumsfeld (not that I am sad to see him go).

When did it become the job of the cabinet to step in the way of Presidential bullets. I am fairly certain that the Secret Service is still around (unless of course the President felt they were not partisan enough). So why is it that cabinet members are continually going missing.

I simply don't get it. America, please help me out. What's the abstract?

And Now a Break for this Public Sevice Announcement

Ladies and gents, I interrupt today's regularly scheduled blog post to bring you this important public service announcement...

GO VOTE !!!





Today is election day across America, and regardless of your party affiliation, today it is your obligation to go and cast your vote. I know it is a midterm, and of course most of you won't bother to break your routine to go vote for Reps, Senators, and Governers, but I implore you, please go vote. This nation was founded on the basis of rule by the people and for the people. Well guess what, we are the people they were talking about. It is easy for us to sit by apethetic, and complain about the state of affairs, but if you choose not to vote, you also forefit the right to complain.

Even though you cant cast your ballot for President tomorrow, your votes will have a huge effect on the direction of this nation, especially on silly little issues like the War in Iraq and Stem Cell Research.

One last time... please, go vote.

The Most exciting pro sport in America

"Any given Sunday". This is more than just a phrase (or a pretty decent movie w/ Al Pacino, Jamie Foxx, and an underrated LL Cool J). It really does mean what it was meant to mean. In the NFL these days, any team can win a game on "any given Sunday" regardless of their competition. It is simply because unlike the other American pro sports, there is no longer a huge difference between the haves and the have nots.

Examples you want, well examples I have. Today, the Chicago Bears started the day undefeated. Their defense was the best in the league, and has been drawing comparisons to their 1985 counterparts. Even the Bears offense which in previous years had been thier weakness, was tearing up the league. Today, they hosted (thats right, played in Chicago) the hapless Miami Dolphins. The 1-6 Phish have been one of the (if not the) worst team in the league this year. They cant run the ball. Their line has more resembles a group of matadors much to the chagrin of both of the guys who have started at QB for the team. Their defense has a solid front seven, but a weak secondary, and hense the Phins have only 1 win this year, squeeking out a "W" against simillary hapless Tennessee. Today should have been a shalacking. One team should have dominated on the ground, easily disposing of the other. And so it was, except not the way you would have thought. The mighty Bears defense was run all over by Ronnie Brown and the formerly happless Phins ground attack. The final score, Miami 31, Chicago 13.

Could this just be one example against a whole mass of data proving otherwise. Nope. You see "Any given Sunday" applies to more than just weekly matchups. It is a statement identifying the parity that has enveloped the NFL as a sport. Last year, the Pittsburgh Steelers were crowned World Champions by winning the Superbowl. Last year, the Houston Texans were awared the first pick in the NFL draft because they were the worst team in the league. Two opposite ends of the spectrum. Ready to discover parity? At the start of business today, both the defending champs, and the defending chumps had 2-5 records.

In April, after the worst team in the league drafted first overall, the second worst team, the New Orleans Saints were on the clock. Now, six months later, the Saints, who were awful last year, won again, and remained in first place in the NFC South. Now I know many of you are thinking "Well of course they are much improved, they drafted Reggie Bush, duh), but it has not been the heisman trophy winning running back from USC that has been the super impactful rookie, but instead, the Saints last pick in the draft, wide reciever Marcus Colston from Hofstra.

For one last piece of evidence, lets look at some pre-season predictions. In the AFC East, many "experts" said the division favorites would be the Miami Dolphins. They finished last year on a six game winning streak, including a win against the Patriots. Those same New England Patriots were predicted to finsh second, most likely because of the huge loss of talent, with Willie McGinist and Adam Vinatieri jumping ship. The Buffalo Bills were going to finish in third in the division, mainly due to their lack of a quality quarterback, and the New York Jets were going to be so bad, many had them competing for the first overall pick, winning maybe 3 games all year. Now half way through the year, the "experts" are proving my point. The Pats are in first again, the losses of McGinist and Vinatieri unnoticed as the team is off to a 6-1 start. The Jets who were told they would only win 3 games all year are in second place with a 4-4 record. The Bills are in fact in third, and the Phins are bringing up the rear rather than leading the pack.

My point ladies and gents is that "Any given Sunday" could also be "Any given Season" and that is why the NFL has replaced Major League Baseball as "America's Game." Each team really does have a chance to win each week. And worst to first is a regular reality in the league. This league is really the most exciting of any of the sports in America because your team always has a chance to make you smile. Now, how 'bout your Abstract.


PS. Speaking of exciting, how about the finish to the Cowboys / Redskins game....

Friends of the Abstract

This is more of an informational post than anything else. Many of you who read my blog do so through some of the RSS features I have available on my site. Because of this, you may not have the benefit to see the new section of my site called Friends of the Abstract. From time to time, I will add a link to another blog which I find very fun, compelling, or informative to this section. Because many of you only subscribe to my blog via RSS, you wont have the chance to see when I add a new friend, so I am duty bound to help you all. Whenever I add a friend, I will also make a quick post letting you all know about my new friend and why I think it is worth you time to check out.

Now I know you are wondering why all of a sudden I am posting this, and it is because I have added the first "Friend of the Abstract". The blog I have added is that of Yankee John. Those of you out there that know Yankee John is a family man, so you will see posts about his better half and his kids, but you will also find some other hidden gems with Yankee. His tongue-in-cheek humor comes through with grace and a well advanced vocabulary (think Dennis Miller if he knew anything and everything about British Maritime History). Yankee is quick witted, and is blog has many moments of great fun. I encourage all of my readers, expand your mind and check out Yankee John.

From the land of "News That used to Matter"

Today was the begining of the 2006-07 NBA season. In the immortal words of Adam Sandler in the Wedding Singer, "Whooptidee Dooo!!!"

I used to be a pro basketball fan... no seriously, stop laughing. I was definately a fan at some point, but not now. Not anymore. Who knows when it happened, but when I tell you I couldn't care less about the start of the pro basketball season, I really mean it. I remember back when I was a kid in New York, I used to love basketball. Now back then, it was easy to love the association. You had the great ambassadors of the game running the court back then. You could look up to guys like Larry Legend, Magic, and MJ. But like I said I was a fan, so I did pack up and go when Larry hung them up, or when Magic got sick, or when Mike retired (the first time). I still remember hanging out with Jimmy D and JB watching the Knicks and Heat fight it out in the playoffs when a too old Grandmama Johnson turned a three point shot into a four point play, and pushed the Knicks into a game seven win over the Heat. I was definately still a fan.

But now, something about the pro game turns my stomach. Maybe it is the fact that save a very few teams, "team basketball" has completely left the arena. Maybe it is because i really don't care to watch talented high schoolers leap college, then learn the pro game for all of us to witness while collecting million dollar paydays. Maybe it is because watching a Lakers/Sixers game is really watching Allen Iverson play Kobe Bryant in a one-on-one with a bunch of other players simply clouding the view. Or maybe, just maybe, I can't fathom cheering for a sport where it is common place for players to leap into the stands to fight with the fans.

Like I said, I don't know when it happend, but it did. I am no longer a fan of pro basketball. I still love the college game, and I am glad to see we are getting underway in the NCAA. I am much more excited to see a UF vs Kentucky game than a Spurs vs Mavs matchup. It really is such a shame. David Stern had the NBA on top of the world 10 years ago. Now, not even King James is going to save Stern's legacy.

Let me know America, what is your Abstract?

Best Rock Albums Ever

So as this is my first post in this new forum, I want to tell you all a little about me and why I am here talking to you. I am your normal average american male with opinions on everything. Especially things which tend to be thought of as pop culture. As I am sure all of you do, I sit with my buddies and yak about everything from sports to movies, from music to politic and more. We often get into fairly heated debates about particular topics, and we have a great time with it too. So now, I want to invite you to these discussions. I love opinions, so let me hear yours.

Now, enough about why I am here. Lets start the chatting. In a few weeks from now I want to release a list of the best Rock Albums of all time. To do this I need your input. I want to hear what Rock albums you consider the best ever.

Now, before you start in let me define some rules here. First off, lets limit it to Rock, and rock related genres. This would be rock, hard rock, metal, grunge, and punk. Lets leave off genres like pop, r&b, rap and others. In the future we will hit these albums. Rule #2, I want to focus on albums, and not simply bands. I don't care that you think The Beatles are the best ever band, and all of their albums should be included. I would however like to hear why The White Album is better than Sgt. Peppers. Rule #3, check your facts first. Believe me, I will and if you tell me how "Still Remains" make the album Core work, I will call you out.

So, lets hear it America. I am ready for your Abstract.