Thanks for the Advice, Derrick...

OK, so check this out. As many of you know Miss Jayme and I have been talking more and more about the idea of marriage, and with conversations like that you really start to examine your personal philosophies on life, and partnership. Now I understand that as we grow and experience new things, our philosophies change, and often, depending on the precise nature of our previous interactions with other equally inept, sorry excuses for human beings that we tend to label "friends" or sometime even "family", those philosophical standpoints become quite jaded (how else could we explain the blather that Yankee John tries to pass off as commentary), (sorry John, but it has been a while since I have sent any anthrax laced hate mail your way and I kind of miss the guilty pleasures it brings).

Getting back on topic, the marriage talks with Jayme have forced me to take a look at my own feelings about marriage. Now I have the perspective of a divorcee, so therefore, my current feelings towards the idea of holy matrimony may have taken a bit of a beating over the past two years or so. That is unfair to both myself, and to my lovely other, so therefore, I decided to examine my thoughts of marriage at an earlier stage in my life. Unfortunately for me, I have a hard time these days remembering that my underwear goes on before my pants, so trying to recall a philosophical standpoint I had during the late eighties is quite frustrating. (My mother struggles remembering the late eighties too, but for an entirely different reason... actually come to think of it, the reasoning may not be all that different after all, as I am guessing my mother's lack of recollection also stems from the fact that I was a ten year old terror) (sorry mom, but when the jabs start flying you never can be really sure who will get hit next).

Focus.... Focus... Oh yeah, ok so back to my philosophical issue. I have been trying to recall my high end philosophies on the topic of marriage at the ripe old age of ten, when I ran into a complete roadblock. Now, never one to be deterred, I decided that the complexities of decade old thought were likely to be as varied as James Dopico's hairstyles of the last decade, and therefore, my thought on marriage at ten years old was quite likely akin to any ten year old's thoughts on marriage. Thusly (and a big fuck you to Mr Conley), to surpass my recollection difficulties, I simply had to tap the minds of current ten year olds, and I would arrive at a likely close approximation of my though process on marriage b.c.j (before the current jading).

So without any further adieu, (there has been more than enough adieu already), here are some thoughts of ten year old on marriage:



HOW YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10


Yes folks, the wonderful minds of youth. And after all of this all I know is that when Jayme and I finally do decide to marry, i will always know which kids are mine if I can find the ones she is yelling at. Good tip Derrick...